The Kitchen Project Part 1
Dedicated to Oor Marget and Richard
Charles M Flett
When night owls tolled the knell of parting day,
'Cos slum'bring earth was planning us to shake,
So with a jolt we woke to our dismay-
Our porch and house were parting in a quake!
The fireplace like an uninvited guest
Now lacking chimney moorings to restrain,
Moved freely 'til at last it came to rest,
Within our living room. - Oh what a pain!
To fix it all and redo kitchen too
Was our intent and so with contracts signed,
(Phase one to mend our broken chimney flue)
We're in control. At last we've peace of mind.
A truck drew up; twas Lisa unbespoke,
In shorts too tight and muscles bulging out,
The chimney she demolished at a stroke,
And so we thought with her don't mess about.
Some healthy good Scotch broth her kids I fed
Just as in Buckie Granny would have done,
I could have told the company instead
That bairns on building sites just aren't fun.
With all knocked down 'twas now assembly's phase,
Reading plans was plain not Lisa's forte,
Her efforts would the madding crowds amaze,
Soon she quit - her building skills found faulty
Two months went by 'er Lisa was replaced,
Her work pulled down and once again erected,
To carry on - the question that we faced-
With kitchen plans? Certainly rejected!
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