• The Kitchen Project Part 1

  • Dedicated to Oor Marget and Richard

  • Charles M Flett
  • 2005
  • When night owls tolled the knell of parting day,
  • 'Cos slum'bring earth was planning us to shake,
  • So with a jolt we woke to our dismay-
  • Our porch and house were parting in a quake!
  • The fireplace like an uninvited guest
  • Now lacking chimney moorings to restrain,
  • Moved freely 'til at last it came to rest,
  • Within our living room. - Oh what a pain!
  • To fix it all and redo kitchen too
  • Was our intent and so with contracts signed,
  • (Phase one to mend our broken chimney flue)
  • We're in control. At last we've peace of mind.
  • A truck drew up; twas Lisa unbespoke,
  • In shorts too tight and muscles bulging out,
  • The chimney she demolished at a stroke,
  • And so we thought with her don't mess about.
  • Some healthy good Scotch broth her kids I fed
  • Just as in Buckie Granny would have done,
  • I could have told the company instead
  • That bairns on building sites just aren't fun.
  • With all knocked down 'twas now assembly's phase,
  • Reading plans was plain not Lisa's forte,
  • Her efforts would the madding crowds amaze,
  • Soon she quit - her building skills found faulty
  • Two months went by 'er Lisa was replaced,
  • Her work pulled down and once again erected,
  • To carry on - the question that we faced-
  • With kitchen plans? Certainly rejected!
  • Click to return to our Poets' corner